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Things I have heard my kids say today.

Dallas:  "mom, look at this, I found this toliet paper in my butt!"

Emily to Dallas:  "Dallas don't take it from her, she has never pet a bug before, let her hold it"

Dallas:  "Don't drive like my brother, don't drive like my brother, ha ha ha"

Emily to me:  "Mom, Dallas already wiped his butt." 
Dallas to me:  "Yeah mom, I am practicing so when you are making dinner you can just keep baking" 

Noelle: "daddy, daddy, daddy, sing... wheels on the bus... again,  round and round.  daddy!"

Noelle:  "knock, knock"  (me) "whose there?", Noelle: "apple" (me) "apple who?" Noelle:  "laughs!"